Why Resolve to Increase Your EQ?
by | January 4, 2021
I’ve heard so many different New Year’s resolutions over the years: lose weight, change careers, get a degree, write a book, spend more time with family and friends. I’ve never heard someone resolve to increase their EQ—yet emotional intelligence is a skillset that supports us in any goal we might set.
Emotional intelligence, also known as Emotional Quotient (EQ), encompasses the ability to manage our emotions, stay motivated, and develop relationships.
So, why aren’t we all resolving to increase our EQ?
One reason might be that we tend to overestimate our own Emotional Intelligence. If we already see ourselves as highly emotionally intelligent, we might not think we need to improve. Even when we know there is room for growth, it’s hard to know where to start.
I spoke with our EQ expert Christina Butler, to learn more about the meaning of EQ, how to assess our EQ level, and what we can do to increase it.
- What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence can be broken down into four (and sometimes five) elements: Self-awareness, self-regulation (motivation), social awareness, and social regulation. Together, these skills can help us to improve every aspect of our lives—from professional to social to family.
- Do people generally overestimate their skills in a specific aspect of Emotional Intelligence?
It’s common knowledge in the EQ world that people tend to think they are better, nicer, and more evolved than they actually are. Listening is at the top of the list. We might say, “Sure, I’m a good listener. I only talked for ten minutes of our 20-minute conversation.” But are we listening to understand? Are we listening to empathize? If not, we might just be taking turns talking.
When we actively and empathetically listen, we let people know that we hear them, and they matter. Emotionally intelligent listening involves being curious, managing your emotions as you listen, and continually reading the other person, not just listening to respond.
- If someone lacks self-awareness, how can they gain insights from an emotional intelligence assessment?
While EQ assessments do rely on self-reporting, questions are phrased in a way to bring oversights to light. I’ve seen many clients go into an EQ training believing they were extremely self-aware, but then gain specific insights into gaps and opportunities for improvement from their assessment..
- Is it really possible to increase your emotional intelligence? How?
It is absolutely possible to improve your EQ. The first step is to take an assessment, which will give you ways to improve—specific to you—in each of the four EQ domains. Once you understand where and how you can improve, it’s time to put it into practice; just like you would any other skill.
For example, let’s say you want to improve in the area of Self-Regulation. You might start by observing how you react to people, then focus on responding thoughtfully instead of immediately reacting. You’ll begin to figure out what triggers you, so that you can catch yourself before reacting in a way you might regret.
- Why is EQ important right now?
EQ is arguably the most important skill in the workplace. This was true even before the pandemic. Now we are beginning to return to physical workplaces—after having been affected by the pandemic in different ways. Increased awareness of ourselves and others is critical to collaborating and communicating effectively. We need to learn, or in some cases re-learn, how to listen, empathize, connect.
Would your team benefit from increasing their EQ? Contact us to discuss a training for your team.